Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
1922 — 2007
It begins like this: “Listen: Billy Pilgrim has come unstuck in time.” It ends like this: “Poo-tee-weet?”
“If I hadn’t spent so much time studying Earthlings,” said the Tralfamadorian, “I wouldn’t have any idea what was meant by ‘free will.’ I’ve visited thirty-one inhabited planets in the universe, and I have studied reports on one hundred more. Only on Earth is there any talk of free will.”
From Slaughterhouse Five, or The Children’s Crusade: A Duty Dance With Death (1969)