From Reg Nakoneshny in the “you had to be there department”
OUT OF SCOPE EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY
Permanent Full Time Position
“Special” Teams Department – Saskatchewan Roughriders
JOB SUMMARY: Responsible for the direction and coordination of the Special Teams Department during crucial Grey Cup games. In collaboration with the other morons (coach’s), the Math Tutor facilitates and ensures the delivery of 12 men on the field during field goals. The incumbent is in the hospital after suffering a severe beating at the hands of the Riders rabid 14th man. This is a leadership role, which requires highly developed problem-solving (counting to 12) and decision-making skills (calling a time-out), as well as the ability to deal with a variety of idiots. QUALIFICATIONS: § Graduate of an approved Kindergarten.§ Current registration in the Sesame Street Counting Club.§ Possess or be actively working toward a goal of being able to count to 12.§ Having a mouth full of 12 teeth or having 12 toes is a definite asset.§ Excellent communication (Hey buddy, get off the field!!!), interpersonal, leadership (All right everybody, find your field goal buddy) and organizational skills (Are there only 12 of us out there???) HOURS OF WORK: 5 seconds once a week for 6 months per year.COMPETITION NUMBER: #09-13 minus 1ANTICIPATED START DATE: Immediately after funeral of current Special Teams CoordinatorCompensation package will include a dozen donuts (That’s right 13 tasty treats)
The Saskatchewan Roughriders appreciate the interest of all applicants. Only those candidates selected for an interview will be contacted. Residents of Saskatchewan need not apply.